alright, here goes nothing. so, today started out pretty fantastic. i got up in time to shower (which was a pretty big deal seeing that i had to work at 8 and i normally dont shower unless i just worked out or it had been a couple days), prepared a homemade yogurt, oatmeal parfait, hit mostly green lights on north street, and got what i thought at the time was a sweet parking spot. it got a little windy on my walk to the student center but i didn't let that bring me down. my coffee stayed hot for an extra long time, and they had all green grapes at lunch (i know what you're thinking...score!! right?). this does not sound like one of my normal blogs, this is true. just as i was having trouble with the fax machine around 1:26 p.m. the plot thickened.
as i was walking back to northridge FUCKING arms apartments at about 1:50 i glanced at the parking spot where i had safetly locked fo just 6 hours prior. now would be an appropriate time to start guessing what i saw.
a) an excessive amount of bird shit
b) a boot
c) an illegal immigrant breaking into the front window
d) a broken windshield
e) your life sucks kim, its probably all of the above.
for all of you that guessed a-d...you're wrong. for those of you who guessed e (mallori brookshire), you're still wrong. fo was in fact... missing. MISSING! he was no where to be found. my little silver sidekick with whom i have shared black and milds, new music, old music, laughs, tears, sprained hips, unintentional dread locks, and spilled pickle juice was GONE!!!!! ok at this point i should be able to assume that you are freaking out just as much as i was. who would steal an unattended 5 year old?????
the answer...randys wreckers. yuppppp, a towing company. good 'ol randy pulled up and kidnapped fo at about 1:26. (if you recall, this is about the same time i was having trouble faxing students w-2 forms to their parents across texas). if you try to tell me youve never parked in a parking lot with one of randys warning signs im going to call you a liar to your face and give you a swirly. we all park illegally blah blah blah. this is my pity party not yours.
claire collins (shout out!) came to pick me up and took me to randys to track down the only man who has never let me down (*knocks on wood). we roll into what appears to be a trailer park. we walk up the cinderblock stairs, careful not to touch the wooden railings that probably had rusty nails sticking out of them, opened the door, and walked in. the first thought that crossed my mind was that i was fully engulfed in a cloud of cigarette smoke and not only was i going to have to pay an arm and a leg to get fo back but i would also contract lung cancer. perfect. i just wanted to die anyway at that point. other things in my direct line of vision was a couch with towels and blankets sprawled on it. i thought to myself...."does randy SLEEP here?". i also noticed some hot wheels that were still in the box and stapled around the perimeter of the trailer. there was an ash tray the size of a hula hoop on the desk and randy smiled his one front tooth smile and said "you must be miss stokey" uhhhh yeahh something like that...i traded my license for one look at fo. i claimed him through the window and randy jr. showed me and claire to the lot. at this point i started asking about weekly specials he was running. there werent any...shocker. so i offered to design advertisements and signage to replace his "be back later" sign that was written on printer paper in red sharpie. fail. randy jr asked where i was from, and when i replied with corpus christi he said that wouldnt be surprised if we were "kinfolk" because that is where he was from. i tried to get a discount out of that too, but to no avail.
this story doesnt have an exciting ending. it doesnt have a happy ending. in the end...i paid the randys $241.65, hung my head, and walked out the door. i feel it appropriate to reference alfalfa from the little rascals. when i exited the trailer i look up and "then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa."" with that, i wish you all a great fucking day.
p.s. if you haven't been to randys wreckers, you havent really been to nacogdoches.
currently listening to: my paycheck being flushed down the toilet
